finding your thing
If my kids ever ask me, “What’s the meaning of life?” I’ll probably tell them this:
“Work your ass off to get very good at something that you care deeply about, or are obsessed with, that allows you to serve not only yourself but other people.”
I’m not sure who said it (Tim Ferriss?), but when I heard it I immediately thought: wow, this is a brilliant life manifesto!
The problem with “find your passion”
“Find your passion.” “Find your calling.” It’s way too much pressure. Like there’s one perfect magical job out there waiting for you, and if you don’t find it by 30, you’ve failed at life.
But the truth is, most people stumble into it. Obsession doesn’t usually arrive with fireworks. It creeps in.
You try stuff. You get curious. You get better. You just show up everyday. Then one day you realise: Hey, I actually care about this. And people seem to care that I care. That’s the spark.
Start with ikigai
I’d also show my kids ikigai - the Japanese concept of purpose at the intersection of:
What you love
What you’re good at
What the world needs
What you can get paid for
You don’t need all four right away. Start with one and build from there. The more dots you connect, the better - and it’s way less pressure.
Don’t know what you’re good at? Ben Kuhn (CTO at Anthropic) once said: “What does it seem like everyone else is mysteriously bad at?”, which I translate that to:
What does everyone else suck at, but you don’t?
J.K. Rowling wrote wizard stories on napkins during train rides while she was broke. She just couldn’t not write it.
Oprah got demoted for being “too emotional” on TV as a journalist. That flaw became her superpower when she shifted to daytime talk shows.
Howard Schultz was a marketing guy who visited Italy, fell in love with espresso culture, and convinced Starbucks to pivot from selling beans to serving coffee. Passion came after exposure.
So yeah, find your thing. Doesn’t have to be flashy. Could be baking bread, building software, teaching, lifting heavy things for fun, or making people laugh.
Whatever it is - go deep. Get excellent. Share it. Serve people.
That’s how you discover your place in the world without losing your soul in the process.
And dear child, if none of this makes sense to you yet, that’s fine. You’re still early in the game.
One day, when you’re older and drinking your third coffee while questioning everything, maybe this will come back to you.